Or at least I don't act
like one. If you don't believe me, just read on.
1. I just spent 5
minutes trying to untangle my earphones out of my polygamist wife hair.
2. I haven't been up
before 9 am-10 am in about a month now.
3. Things I have thought
to myself today:
a.
"Pollack...what a great racial slur."
b. "Why aren't
there more raisins in the knock off Raisin Bran?"
c. "What's that smell? ...oh."
4. I'm 24 and I don't have
health insurance. Even with this Obamacare shiz I'm still not covered.
5. I'm a fucking nanny.
6. I get in daily arguments
with a 5 year old... because I'm a fucking nanny.
7. I usually lose these
daily arguments with the 5 year old.
8. I often find myself in
deep conversations with nannies from Trinidad about the most effective ways to
lose weight...because I'm a fucking nanny!
9. I usually don't put on
any clothes until about 3 in the afternoon.
10. Still haven't figured
out this, "how to properly show affection in public" thang.
11. I just used the word,
"thang."
12. I ate burritos for breakfast
today.
13. Well, I ate burritos
for breakfast, right after I finished a bowl of healthy knock off raisin bran.
14. I buy knock off raisin
bran...amongst other things.
15. I'm very excited to
partake in Burger King's new bacon sundae.
16. I call it a productive
day if I have written half a blog post.
17. I like popping zits.
18. I like popping zits a
little too much.
19. I laugh at the Asian
racial slurs the 9- year old I nanny says a little too hard.
20. I basically want to find a job where I never have to leave my bed,
put on clothes or interact with the general public... and I keep telling myself
this is a possibility.
