Friday, July 20, 2012

I'm going to shit my pants...

I'm about to shit my pants. Oh how I wish that was an exaggeration, but currently I'm seated in an airport bar waiting for my first flight to depart.  Did I mention I'm scared shitless of flying. So scared that I've avoided flying for over ten+ years now? Like so scared of flying that I once took a 20 hour train ride from Chicago to DC filled with hobos and a cat book that I bought for 5 cents at a garage sale as a joke. I'm not even going to pretend like I didn't read that book back to back repeatedly. Quite honestly, I don't know how this flight is going to go so this is just going to be a drunken adventure for all of us! I've already informed the people around me to be prepared for some drunk before, after and during fear crying. I'm not a cute cryer. Thank you, Brooklyn Lager. I'm also currently avoiding the stares of the man next sitting directly next to me at the bar. Five bucks he sits right next to me on the plane too. Did I mention I have a window seat because, and I quote from my lovely BFF matthew, " sit next to a window so you can see how far up you are when you are falling from the sky." Annnnnnnddddd..... I just broke the seal. Sorry guys, this is a very stream of consciousness post. My nerves have taken over and I'm now currently peeing as I type this post on my handy dandy iPhone. Sexy right? But I guess if you don't do what freaks you out then you are just a fucking pussy. And pussy I am not. So I think I'll drink another lager and leave you all with this gem of truth...  Every time I've ever taken a pure leap of faith not knowing the outcome on the other side the payout has always been worth the gamble.  Boom, bitches.


  1. do one thing a day that scares the fuck out of you. you will officially be accomplished after this flight.

    not quite sure a simple flight is considered a "gamble" or "a leap of faith" but since you are scared.. we will go with it. you are seriously going to be fine though haha. if you are not.. i will buy you a beer. but you will be dead. so i will drink the beer.

  2. I hope everything came out ok in the

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