Listen, gentlemen of NYC, but it is true, you are gay until proven straight.
Honestly, you should take that as a compliment, not being able to tell your sexuality based soley on your appearance and general mannurisms means that you convey a sense of classiness and confidence with a slight smidge of gay.
I'm sorry, but those shoes you are wearing are a little too stylish for a single female like myself not not to hesitate for at least a couple of seconds.
And the whole hipster look doesn't help your cause either. The hipster look is a little girly... Can we all agree on that?
And i know you are just trying to be "ironic" but you are using thst word incorrectly, and now you've just pissed me the fuck off, yes you, "straight" man dressed in a "suns out guns out" tank. Your guns aren't even that great, asshole.
Or how about when you constantly tell me, "I'm going vegan to get rid of my bitch tits."Yeah...that kind of screams gay.
We ladies are also allowed to question your sexuality when you tell us that you are a world class tapper. Tap? You specialize in tap dancing?!
God. Fucking. Damnit.
You look like Patrick Wilson, and laughed at all my stupid/douchy jokes. (Of course you laughed though, gay or straight, I'm fucking hilarious.)
However another gay dude said you were straight... And I trust a gay man's gaydar.
Well every gay dude with the exception of the one gay dude who always tells me, "He said he liked you? That means he likes dick."
Probably, specific gay dude who says that to me constantly, probably... but that is my point! Until he has proven that he actually doesn't like the dick...I will always assume he's gay...always.
And how are you going to remedy this situation, not obviously straight men of NYC? Fuck if I know, but I have a feeling that feathered fedora you are sporting isn't helping your cause.
Oh I love it. I definitely agree. If you're so whiney I wanna shove a Midol in your pie hole, I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're gay.
ReplyDeleteBahaha this is hilarious. May not be in NYC but I have definitely seen a few of those guys here too. Ya just gotta question things sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYup, I totally assume every guy I stare down, or meet, or creepily follow is gay...until otherwise observed .
ReplyDeleteI am beginning to feel similarly about more and more LA guys. Seriously, what the hell is with this miraculous angel hair and clouds of cologne? What's with the tight t-shirts and the shades? You're either gay or you want to sell me meth. Pick one.
ReplyDeleteI like u sexy………... http://programmer.tv2.dk/basta/article.php/id-25708687:naturenergi.htm Naturenergi
ReplyDeletePlease. Come to Chicago. I have some fine, poorly-dressed men I think you'd like.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your observations on all points but one: tap dancing is fucking sexy. Don't believe me? YouTube yourself some Savion Glover. You're welcome.
ReplyDelete