Ladies. We suck. Like seriously we do. Our emotions and
insane ability to rationalize every answer we didn’t want to hear/bad situation/how
eating certain foods while standing helps you lose weight, will always hold us
back in our lives.
The moment that we can start taking everything at face value
and not try to decipher through the many “levels of what that really meant” or
as I like to call it “psycho girl bullshit babble” to make that straightforward
answer we didn’t want to hear into something positive, will be the moment that
we will truly rule the world.
This is life, ladies. Not everything is going to go our way.
And trying to hide behind our over rationalization will only make the situation
worse and harder for you to separate yourself from said situation(s). You owe
it to yourself to grow a pair of balls and take it like it is.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not not including myself in this
category of girls because I do this shit ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. I am so sick
of my ability to do this. It’s nauseating. It’s frustrating. And it’s holding
me back in my life.
But, god damnit, it is so much easier to live in that
deluded sense of reality than sometimes be disappointed with your life. And if
your life consists of hours of over rationalization over boys/men/people with
penises, your life is pretty fucking good.
Stop pussyfooting around and deal with it. I know I sound
mad in this post and that’s because I am. But mostly I’m mad at myself and my
immaturity, so I’m using this post as a moment to yell at myself for how
retarded I am acting.
Stop it. Just fucking stop it. Grow up and act like a man!
Emotionally, that is. Just take it like is, get a little mad, and punch
someone. (That’s how it works right?) Botta bing, botta boom. And move the fuck
on.
I know at certain times it is impossible to control, PMS is
a Grade A whore that’s only real purpose in your life is to destroy your
self-esteem with passive aggressive comments about how much you suck as a
person lingering in that pretty little head of yours.
Our lady emotions just seem to have this uncanny ability to
make logic look like bullshit and bullshit look like logic. But the moment we
realize this fact will bring ourselves one step closer to being fully
functioning adults and not the crazy ladies everyone pretends to love.
Well with the exception of me of course, I know you all
really love me. Right? RIGHT?!?
Now excuse me while I go shove a copious amount of hot fudge
sundae Pop tarts down my throat because you took a little too long to answer
that question.
well put. i couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeletePERFECT. I've been having these moments lately. I'm in the midst of a turnaround/growing of a dick&balls.
ReplyDeletenatalie, i love you but i disagree that we should just deal with it. our lives revolve around men because men decided that the world revolved around them, and therefore women's lives have to, too. ready yashar ali's blog (my bible):http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/
ReplyDeleteSo true.
DeleteYou need to work on your face value. How you feel about yourself and confidence. In reality guys love successful confident women. The ones with baggage are the ones to stay away from. Ya know sex isn't everything ok maybe it can be helpful. You don't have to suck at it unless you want to. I'll take brains over breasts any day.
ReplyDelete"You owe it to yourself to grow a pair of balls and take it like it is."
ReplyDeleteSomeone pointed out to me that the line "grow a pair of balls" doesn't really make sense. If you want to take down a big burly men, most self-defense instructors will advise to hit him in the balls. Apparently, balls can't take a beating. So if you do "grow a pair" of balls, I seriously believe you'll have a hard time to to "take it like it is".
"Grow up and act like a man!" - but isn't it a popular belief that women mature faster than men? :)
We - men and women - all have our days. Our hormones may have some contribution on how we deal with things. Still, at the end of the day, life is really not so bad. You may find that you'll look back on these days and laugh. Being a lady is fun, embrace it. For now, enjoy your hot fudge sundae Pop tarts and smile. Tomorrow, may not be so bad. :)
My lady emotions are getting in my way right now. Thanks for reminding me that I have control over them! :)
ReplyDeleteJust wondering, why is it that to be an "adult" means that we have to behave like men? Yes, women do tend to over-rationalize and make excuses for asshole behaviour, but the solution to that isn't "act like a man". Why as women do we assume that the way men act is right? Oh, that's right, it's because MEN have been telling us it is and we've been blindly believing them. By attempting to act like men we're still giving them the power. Why not act like a responsible, grown-up, human being? The moment when women rule the world will be when we stop trying to be men.
ReplyDeleteWord. I understand the point of this post is to stop being so emotional, but why does that have to be equated with acting like a man? As if a man's emotional behavior is somehow superior to a woman's.
DeleteI see the humor in this post, and I appreciate it, but I also think it unintentionally demonstrates sexist values that are still very alive and well in our culture.
I agree that men and women are different in the way they respond to things, our brains are different, etc. but one shouldn't be better than the other.
I hate women.
ReplyDeleteSo here is my take on it. Because I totally agree.
ReplyDeletehttp://singlegirlseatfree.blogspot.com/2012/02/stupid-crazy-girl.html
This post makes me want to watch Down With Love.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, but I thought they quit making hot fudge sundae pop tarts because they no longer sell them at my Safeway. Safeway has this annoying habit of not stocking all of the things that I love. Comment is semi-related to post.
ReplyDeleteFirst up; I would rather that you fine ladies didn't grow and dick and/or bollox. Second; pretty sure guys do the exact same thing. And if they weren't deluded they would probably just shoot themselves.
ReplyDeleteFinally; I just caught up on the last couple of months posts and there seems to be a large lack of content regarding awkward sex. Pro tip: work on that!
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ReplyDeleteMy name is Angélica Bastos, I'm from Brazil, I love your blog
I wonder if you topa a partnership?
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