1. Only one garlic sauce in a Papa John's order.
...Um...are you fucking kidding me Papa?!?! I don't care what the fuck this economy is doing to your fucking profits but when I'm eating my feelings I want at least two garlic sauces to shotgun on my lonely monday mornings. Two...mother fucker.
2. Ham Soup
...ick.
3. Ironing Boards
....they are so flat and arrogant....like "ohhhh I'm soooo cool...I'll never have wrinkles...unlike your face...bitch."
4. Grown women in love with Justin Bieber
....you know that's illegal...right?
5. People who don't love Easy Cheese
...it comes in a can...it's pasturized...and it's the perfect snack to spray on your finger when you're in a bind for time...please tell me how the fuck you could hate something so fucking beautiful?!?
6. People that like Miracle Whip
....fuck off.
7. Boys that use emoticons via text/e-mail/gchat
...are you nine...or just a sexual predator? I need to know.
8.Boys who use exclamation points via text/e-mail/gchat
...I know you're not that excited to see me naked...
9.Denzel Washington
...no one's that perfect...okay?!
10. Heaven
...I'm not sure...but i think its going to be a little to "PC" for me...
If I could transfer the garlic cups I would. Garlic and me is a no-no. I'm practically a vampire when garlic is out.
ReplyDeleteI could never be friends with someone that doesn't like Easy Cheese or that prefers Miracle Whip over mayo. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI would have agreed about the Miracle Whip, but my brother likes it, and there's just no one better than him. Not in all the world.
ReplyDeleteEasy Cheese sums up all that it awesome and worrying about the US for me...
ReplyDeleteI hate restaurants that are cheap with the condiments. I mean can we live! Nothings worse than that feeling when you realize McDonalds gives you one sweet and sour!
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Miracle whip is neither a miracle...nor a whip. Preach it!
ReplyDeleteAlso...I need those ironing boards. Where did you FIND them???!!!
I call dibs on the Cheddar and Bacon Easy Cheese! And Miracle Whip is DIS.GUST.ING. But then, so is being in love with Justin Bieber. Ewww.
ReplyDeleteMiracle Whip is disgusting. So is the Biebs. And Denzel is indeed too perfect.
ReplyDeleteyou lost me at garlic sauce
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