1. Put an adjective in front of my name…
…for example: Zany Natalie…..Spunky Natalie…fuck off.
2. Talk down to me.
Here’s the thing…I’m not retarded…I went to college…I got a degree… I know a general amount about a shit ton of topics…I watch a lot of news (local and national)… so you assuming that I don’t know that Daoism and Buddhism are two completely different religions is pretty much going to end in passively aggressive comments directed at your penis size….and I have a feeling my estimates won’t be far off.
3. Lying about you knowledge of Youporn.com.
Really?! You really expect me…a girl…who is obviously promoting said web site is actually going to believe that you…a boy…with a penis…has never EVER even vaguely heard of the greatest web site ever created?!?! Fuck off.
4. Not laughing at my perfectly timed black joke.
…fuck off.
5. If you’re a spider.
…fuck nature.
6. Giving me shit for being Catholic.
…look I get it…religion is too “mainstream” for your beliefs…and I’m fine with that…but constantly bashing my Catholic beliefs probably won’t help your chances with me in the sex department.
7. Science.
So here’s the thing…I respect science…I just don’t get it…and don’t pretend like you never questioned the existence of atoms…how do we know they are real if we can’t see them with the naked eye? I just blew your mind.
8. Hug me for two seconds too long.
I’ve let go…so should you.
9. Mustard.
Stop being all yellow…and arrogant…and shit.
10. Being overly politically correct.
I get it…you’re white…and don’t want people thinking you are a “racist” …but here’s the thing…you’re white…so people already think you’re racist.
11. Talk down to me about my knowledge of SNL.
This is one subject I will always….ALWAYS know more than you..deal with it.
Definitely with you in the talking down part, and the political correctness, and the hugging (I just find that awkward in general)... and mustard.
ReplyDeleteI too hate it when mustard is yellow and arrogant.
ReplyDeleteEspecially when it's not even hot.
Now I sound racist. This isn't an analogy. I'm really talking about mustard.
So you hate me because I'm a scientist and like mustard? But I'm Catholic and like porn, does that balance it out?
ReplyDeleteThe people who pretend they don't know what youporn are the same people who won't laugh at a well-timed black joke.
ReplyDeleteThey're just a pile of fucktards.
*what youporn is
Deletehahahahah I cracked up reading every bullet. Esp.. youporn hahaha :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't even know black jokes existed.. maybe because people don't tell me around me.. you know, because I'm so Brown and all.. lol
I was recently informed about youporn.com from a man. They know, and now I know.
ReplyDeleteYep spiders. What kind of webby bugger needs eight legs, eight?! Greedy fly eaters.
ReplyDeleteA catholic girl with a detailed understanding of youporn...perfect
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you on the science thing as well. It seems to be more and more of a cult in its own right...with its own texts, doctrines, initiated acolytes who are the only people to really understand the secrets of the universe...
I like my mustard (Gulden's) like I like my women...I guess. Science is always changing, so how can it be factual? The world was flat, then round, and now who knows? Perhaps it's a spheroid. I don't care as long as it continues to warble in space and I can splat long-legged spiders with my flip-flops. Okay, you let go and so have I.
ReplyDeleteI gave you an award because I want to know all about you, so that I can start working on my Paige voodoo doll.
ReplyDeletehttp://nellievaughn.blogspot.com/2012/03/on-lovely-kakuidori_13.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ButtonsAreNotCurrency+%28Buttons+Are+Not+Currency%29
That link made no sense. It's nellievaughn.blogspot.com
DeleteI absolutely love this. I can agree and relate, especially with politically correct douches.
ReplyDeleteSo your Catholic faith is important to you, but not Catholic teachings. Wonder when the last time you went to Confession? Beat it is difficult to talk to a priest about your adulterous ways. Father forgive me I slept with ZYZ this week. Father forgive I am part of the 98% that uses birth control.
ReplyDeleteThis was awesome. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteXXX vids porn freesexwatchvid movie. Free porn movie xhamsterhd videos. High porn videos lovpornhub porn.
ReplyDelete