Enjoy!
"Making Out With A D-Bag"
Mom, don’t read this. Seriously, stop. I’m not kidding Mom. I don’t want you to think your sons a d-bag. Of course, you may think this already, but let’s not make it worse, so seriously Mom, stop reading.
I like making out…When it’s leading to something else…like a new car (Come on Mom, please stop reading or this could get as awkward as that one time you found condoms in my dorm room). Which reminds me, one time my Mom and Dad caught me packing up some condoms when I moved out of my dorm freshman year. I tried to do it when no one was looking but then my Dad goes…
“That was a condom.”
I then made the situation better by following that comment up with an awkward turtle hand motion.
Anyways, I like making out…when it’s leading to something else. Otherwise, I completely check out. I start thinking about what I need from the grocery store, the current unemployment rate, and who the final cylon is on Battlestar Galactica.
I once was making out with a girl who had made a bet with her roommates that she wouldn’t hook up with me. This is how that went.
“We can only kiss.”
My eyes roll.
“No tongue.”
Battlestar Galactica.
If I’m going to put some effort into foreplay, it should at least pay off. You hear me Sarah Chain? It should at least pay off!
So there. That’s how I really feel about it. So Mom, I’m sorry, I told you to stop reading. And Sarah Chain, call me. We have some unfinished business.
It always has to lead somewhere otherwise it's just like being 14...
ReplyDeleteMy parents once helped me and the then GF to move back from uni....and in the process stumbled across my box of toys under the bed. My Dad got embarrassed and huffed, my mother said 'your just like your Dad'...I got embarrassed and huffed
Here is where men and women definitely differ.
ReplyDeleteAs a lesbian who has gotten drunk enough to make out with men from time to time, I've had to learn this the hard way.
Just because my tongue is in your mouth, does not mean it's going to be on or around your balls.
HOWEVER, I get where you're coming from. Making out is definitely a form a foreplay... but for me, so is Battlestar Galactica. WINK.
Everyone knows its Starbuck GOSH!! Or the President...
ReplyDeleteAnyway I totally agree making out is like a gateway drug and that gateway better be leading to an O down the line.
Here is where I'm a total dick tease. I absolutely love making out. Sex? Probably not. This is coming from an older, wiser me. If I would have commented nine years ago my response would have been much different. I'm getting old. Age is making me a prude.
ReplyDeleteMaking out is fun, but the reason its fun is because you are looking forward to what comes afterwards.
ReplyDeleteHAHA! It's true. But then it's sort of like the girl version of we like to have sex, as long as it is leading to something else. Like a relationship. Don't get me wrong, sex is FUN. But when you sleep with a guy you aren't sure is going to end up being BF material similar thoughts tend to go through our heads (What am I going to wear tomorrow? Did I remember to buy more wine? Is he trying to REMOVE my nipple? Damn. Calm down dude.) ;)
ReplyDeleteThat being said, yours will be the first male blog I add to my list of regular reading. Love it.
Making out is foreplay??? News to me. I thought it was just making out.
ReplyDeleteXXX vids porn freesexwatchvid movie. Free porn movie xhamsterhd videos. High porn videos lovpornhub porn.
ReplyDelete