1. “The Cosby Show” is probably my favorite TV show.
…ever.
2. That being said...I’m obsessed with Bill Cosby.
… I’m pretty sure he is God... yes, God is black.
3. I once brought a rotisserie chicken to a public pool.
…and ate the whole thing…I was on a low-carb diet at the time…I have no shame during low-carb diets…aw hell…I have no fucking shame.
4. I love rap songs with lyrics derogatory towards women.
…I wish I were joking.
5. Have you ever won an in depth argument about rap against a black man?
…I have.
6. You know what’s awesome?
… Watermelon.
7. You know what’s even more awesome than watermelon?
…Malt liquor…specifically Hurricanes…in a 40 ounce bottle(s).
8. I like this song a little too much…
9. And this song…
10. I once threatened to kill a random girl who chucked a mug through our screen-glass door.
… long story short, there was a crazy ass party going on across the way one night, and someone threw a “Happy 50th Birthday” mug at our balcony breaking the glass door, when we went outside to investigate the situation, this drunk whore of a chick started flipping us the bird, and rumor has it, I went fucking psycho. I don’t remember, I momentarily blacked out from rage… the bitch was lucky though, if I had been anywhere near her, I would have beat the shit out of her. I’m not joking.
11. Have you ever been asked if you were half-black, when you so obviously are not?
…I have.
12. Recently won a free shot at a bar.
… for knowing a rap song.
13. I paid for Taco Bell with all change while going through the Drive-Thru
…on numerous occasions.
14. I am most likely going to get Type-2 diabetes.
…no seriously…I’ve put chocolate syrup on bacon before…I am most likely going to get Type-2 diabetes.
15. I live in the ghetto.
…people living in Harlem say what?! No seriously, what do they say?
I'm Asian when I'm clearly not Asian. I love calculus and dye my hair Asian black, and am a ninja. And I like The Far East Movement. Asians can be rappers, too.
ReplyDeleteCan we hang out?
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure with all the things you like, you are a stereo-typical black person. That's if we were stereo typing. And right now...i am. Do you like purple drink?
ReplyDeleteAs long as you are having a good time. Life can be so short.
ReplyDeletehahaha i do the wally world when i'm at wally world
ReplyDeleteIsn't it Morgan Freeman that's God?
ReplyDeleteIm also black.. but mostly only when Im drunk.Legit. I rap at black people at the bar like "yeah.. im just like you.. watch me rap, bitches!". I dont even notice white guys when im drunk like.. there is no such thing in my drunk world. im down with brown and brown only. its scary and embarrassing the next day.
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