Chivalry is dead. Do you get that? It’s fucking dead. Like it does not exist in our generation. Its definition on urbandictionary.com is an “Asian sexually transmitted disease”. People the age of 17-28 can’t even pronounce chivalry correctly…they get stuck on the second syllable…
“Shhe-viiiii…aw fuck it, I’m going to tell her to eat a dick and then she’ll totally want to bone.”
Side note: This is the real urbandictionary definition….” An idea developed first by Queen Eleanor of England. Basically, it encouraged gentlemanly behavior between knights, and proposed a system of courting ladies to gain their hearts instead of dragging them home by their hair (sarcasm)”
….Like I said…dead.
Side note, side note: If you tell her to eat a dick…she will probably want to bone.
This epiphany occurred to me just recently, when I randomly met a dude that was genuinely polite to me.
That was it. He was polite…which equaled me wanting to bone him…immediately…and let me be straight with you…I ooze ‘I’m probably going to be a dick to you’ …so being polite to me really takes some willpower…which makes you seem even hotter….so…um, hello! You are going to get laid, if you are polite to me.
… now I’ll totally pretend like ‘I’m way too independent to give a shit that you knowingly opened a door for me…on purpose’ but in my head…I’m just picturing all the terrible terrible (terrible in a good way) things I’m going to do to you when we bone…based solely on the fact that you opened a door for me…on fucking purpose!
And yes, I know, I totally just said to be a dick in my previous post. But here’s the thing…being a dick is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. We (ladies) aren’t stupid, and if we are “laughing” at your dicky remarks…it’s probably because we can tell you’re easy and you are the closest guy to us at the moment…so…you’ll do.
Chivalry is like walking around a park with a huge ass puppy…I ain’t frontin’…bitches will be fightin’ to touch your poodle (man junk). And isn’t that all you want? A bunch of ladies…fighting…in a sexual manner…for poodles (man junk)?
I think I’ve sufficiently made my point. Now go open a door, dick.