They’re all like (in a dumb man voice), “Yeah, I’m easy…I just like head.”
And then I’m all like (in a really pissed off voice), “Oh really, cause I just want to have sex….cause at least when I’m having sex with you I can pretend like I’m having a good time.”
When you’re giving head…there is no pretend time.
You’re pretty pissed there is a penis in your mouth.
…sometimes I’ll even pause during the act of and be like, “Hey, you. Yeah, I’m talking to you. See this face. See it? Remember this face… This is not a happy face…..”
I’m like a five year old that’s just been told they have to eat all their vegetables.
“Nuh uh…you’re going to have to pry my mouth open…mother fuckers.”
Yeah…that’s right. I said motherfucker when I was five…badass, mother fuckers.
(Also…five bucks this is the one post my dad will accidently reads on my yellow legal pad that I leave EVERYWHERE in my parents house…and he will not be a happy camper.)
It’s not like I’m all “I only like it when guys go down on me and my lady junk”….and shit.
And yes, I know some girls fucking live for that shit.
Fuck that. I hate it. I don’t even want to know what you guys are thinking about down there. Your thought process never makes logical sense in the matters of lady junk.
“Well maybe if I put this…there.”
“Don’t…don’t do that.”
“Whoops…sorry…I thought that made sense.”
“….that will never make sense.”
I’ve never…NEVER…. had a good/decent/normal experience down under.
So, stop listening to that one dude who’s been telling everyone women LOVE that…that sick fuck.
Yeah that’s right…I’m talking to you…I will never understand why you thought that was a good idea…