I can’t wait until religious channels sell their souls and start producing reality TV…let’s be honest it’s only a matter a months before you’re flipping through your TV guide when this gem of a show pops up….
Check it.
“Pregnant Sister with No Mister.”
The show opens with a balding British man staring ominously into camera, “Is this nun bearing Jesus Christ? Or is she just a whore in a habit…tune in next week to find out if Sister Mary Lisa is in fact the next mother of God….or if she is just another statistic.”
Oh god…I just peed a little.
Or what about… “Joseph and His 12 Under-Aged Wives Idol”?
It would be the Mormon polygamist version of American Idol. The 12 girls have to compete with each other to be the number one wife (out of the 12)….and our votes decide the winner.
Ryan Seacrest or as I like to call him…El Diablo… saunters onto the stage only to giggle and announce the next contestant.
“He married 12 girls and you, America, decides these poor unwilling contestants votes.…Up next, Mary Sue, 16, whose going to sing a little diddie by a girl named Taylor Swift.”
Only for you to roll your eyes and turn to your best friend/mom/cellmate and exclaim…
“I can’t believe that bitch thinks she can sing….Jesus Christ… I’m voting for Eunice.”
WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
What about….”What Would Jesus Do…on drugs?”
Do you see what I did there? Do you?
Except Jesus isn’t really Jesus but… some illegal immigrant named Jesus (pronounced Hey-Suce)…and someone just follows him with a camera while he does drugs/stupid things/eats pickles….kind of the male version of Snooki.
Oh, I’ve got it!
Temptation Synagogue?
Ten Jewish Bachelorettes fight to the death for the love and prestige of marrying their local…and exceptionally hot Rabbi.
“Oi…I like my men jewie, circumcised and slightly smaller than average…those bitches better watch out or I’ll go all Fran Drescher on their asses…fucking whores.”
Oh god…I need a life.
Roflmao.....you just gave me the worst case of unstoppable laughter EVER!!!! :D
ReplyDeleteConvert the Heathens:
ReplyDeleteA group of born again rednecks get dropped into a hostile, traditionally NON CHRISTIAN area armed with nothing but bibles and prayer.
It's the feel good show of the year.
I would watch Jesus on drugs. I can't imagine a more thrilling way to spend a Thursday evening.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really need these shows to be on my television right now.
ReplyDeleteI could be entertained forever.
For now, I guess I will just have to stick with Jesus Camp ( watch it !)
Oh my this is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I'd watch Temptation Synagogue. There's a show missing here about purity pledges and abstinance, but I'm not creative enough to make it up. I'm just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteLorraine
genius.
ReplyDeleteThose would be funny shows. Haha, the Pregnant Sister and the 12 wives bit.
ReplyDeletehttp://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
How about we just follow one of those Mega Preachers around for 6 weeks to see how many illegal or gay things he does when no one's looking?
ReplyDeleteI like the way your mind works, ASATC.
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant. Were it to come to fruition, I'd enjoy TV again.
God that would be awesome. If plans go right, I maybe the starter of a comical porn website. Here's the working pilot:
ReplyDeleteMans voice:"It was some 30 summers ago now that I had my first SW woman. I remember it well."
Cut to actors getting progressively frisky. Make-out clothes drop in apartment hallway, make it to apt barely slam door shut. Maybe lights out with night vision or lights on, haven't decided. Friskyness continues, we get to see everything. After a little bit of him inside her, she stops him:
"hey, u want to try something... new?"
Man: "Sure, what do u have in mind?"
Woman reaches in drawer and hands him something neither us nor the man can quite tell what it is for a couple seconds.
Woman:"It's a sandwich. Sub Club with no tomato. I want you to hit me with it."
And cont with extensive SandWich Hitting (SW).
Lol, I'm excited. Btw, do you think that's an actual fetish? I couldn't find much but maybe you know more *ahem* mayonnaise girl. The whole point would be full hilariousness + sex. Seems like porns try to have a story and fail or are unrealistic. None set out with realistic humor in mind do they? Idk, but if I end up in one (and I will if it takes off) I'll send you a link.
Btw, I really like Temptation Synagogue.
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to get you a production deal. I'd watch all of those. I'd also like to see 72nd heaven in which young martyrs are thrown into a coliseum and fight to the death for 72 virgins.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha! Your mind definitely wanders!
ReplyDeleteI think I work with Hey-Suce....he always smells like pickles and is annoying as hell.
ReplyDeleteThis was fantastic. Exactly what I needed at the moment