Retail…how the hell has no one written about this horseshit yet?
…let’s get one thing straight. I hate people…with the exception of whoever invented porn/mayo/zingers….and you…dur.
However, retail has definitely destroyed my hope in humanity…well honestly, I never really had any to begin with…but now I just like to fart (silently) when a customer is bitching for no real reason.
…and the moment my scent hits their nostrils…priceless.
Everyone in retail hates people. We all know it. We all except and respect that fact…but for the few out there who like to pretend this is a fallacy…
Riddle me this:
Has an associate at any retail store said, “I’m sorry,” to you?
…exactly.
In the mere month I’ve been working in retail, I’ve quickly learned that “I’m sorry,” translates to, “I really don’t give a shit.”
…”You forgot your coupons? I’m so sorry.”
Yeah, I don’t give a shit.
…”You’re mad that you have to wait in this big awful line on Christmas eve because you procrastinated…I’m so sorry.”
I really don’t give a shit…bitch.
…”Oh no, now because you procrastinated we are all out of boxes and now you’ll have to scour this town for the only Dollar Tree open that may be open, but will inevitably be sold out as well…and will probably smell like a constant fart cloud is slowly sprinkling into your mouth…I’m so sorry.”
I’m…I’m not.
“You’re trying to return the shirt that you are wearing…without any tags…or proof of purchase…I doubt that’s going to happen…I’m so sorry.”
What the fucking fuck???! You’re trying to return the shirt you are wearing? The shirt that is on your body at this very exact moment as I openly mock you?!
Hmmm…how do I put this politely?
Yeah…I don’t give a shit.
No. Tell me they didn't seriously try to return something they were WEARING!?
ReplyDeleteMy girl can be a bitch like that, despite working in retail. I tell her shes a bitch, and try my hardest not to act like a shithead. Not because I care about people, I fucking hate people, but I have a job and I dont want my balls busted at work, so Im not willing to do it to someone else. But its two sided here, I've had people give me an attitue while working and while I was being perfectly courteous. Seriously, fuck everybody. I didnt ask you to work here bitch, and I get it, work sucks, but I need a coffee, so cut the shit I didnt do anything to you.
ReplyDeleteRetails is by far the best business to be in. You get to interact with so many different people. And i love that I can learn so much about each costumer and when I help one find what they are looking for it warms my heart a bit, just knowing I brightened their day......BAZINGA ( or if you don't watch Bg Bang Theory.. NOT)
ReplyDeleteThey can fuck off!
Amen.
ReplyDeletemorons never cease to amaze me.
ReplyDeletemy one year working retail killed my natural love of humanity. the turning point was christmas eve, when i had to break up a fight between two 250-pound women over the last bottle of cheap-ass cologne in the store. that was the end. gaah.
ReplyDeleteFucking awesome.
ReplyDeleteI hate retail and people, but I know for a fact that someday I may be working in retail...
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LMAO! I work in retail and that shit is HELLA damn aggravating!
ReplyDeleteI posted about it too: http://tinyurl.com/24qgjhr
But yeah customers get on my DAMNED NERVES!
I think we might be soul mates. I hate everyone and I hate their entire families as well. For no other reason than it pleases me to do so.
ReplyDeleteI worked retail for 5 years. It's what motivated me to get through college. I HATED it. Hated it from the first day until the day I walked off the job!
ReplyDeleteYou inspired me to repost my Osco-days posts. I think I'll do that next week.
ReplyDeleteWorking in retail (as a cashier at Whole Foods) completely ruined my perception of the human race. What a bunch of idiotic and mean fuckers!!
ReplyDeleteGod I fucking love you hooker! EVEN if you say F-A-R-T...
ReplyDeleteas a fellow retail person... i fully appreciate this post.
ReplyDeleteWorking in retail or basically any kind of customer service does huge damage to ones outlook on humanity. I go through the same thing every day as a receptionist.
ReplyDeleteFcuking brilliant! I can totally relate. Retail is a Bitch. Hahahaha!
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