Seeing as Halloween is a just around the corner and the whores are in search of their next big costumes without getting arrested for pulling tricks. I thought I’d save you all the hassle and give you my top picks for this year’s whore-ostumes.
1. Debbie Downer.
“Did you know that 95% of all Halloween candy is filled with rat poison and previously used hypodermic needles?”
2. Theresa from The Housewives of New Jersey.
I think a gorilla suit will suffice for this one... she's just so goddamn hairy...
3. Kitty Sanchez from Arrested Development.
“Have we done hair up glasses off yet?”
4. Suze Orman.
5. Snooki.
6. Judy from The Laurence Welk Show.
You’ll have to fend off the men with your baby hands.
7. Sarah Palin.
8. Octo-mom.
I think this one would be best if you staged the birth on the beer pong table.
9. Boobs.
Honestly, I don’t know how the fuck you’d come as a pair of boobs, but how fucking epic would that shit be?! Talk about cutting the middleman out, whores.
That Sarah Palin pic made me
ReplyDeletetouch myself. Now I feel dirty.
(Got any macro scans?)
AWESOME! yeah Halloween is just an excuse for girls to dress as slutty bunnies, nurses and devils-so lame!
ReplyDeleteLove those options! I personally am going to dress up as Princess Dee from the Night Man Cometh episode of It's Always Sunny!
ReplyDeletehttp://tv.ign.com/articles/974/974514p1.html
Now I gotta figure out how to come as boobs! That would be awesome!
ReplyDeletehha I love the Theresa... not only is she hairy but she has that super low hairline. luckily she got bangs to kind of distract us all from it, but we still know its there!!!
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Omg. It's totally between Octo-mom and Snooki and I really am leaning towards the Snookster.
ReplyDeletewww.uncletypewriter.com
Hahaha-- I think Snooki might be the big costume this year. I love the gorilla suit for the Teresa costume-- she's a beast!
ReplyDeleteI hate that whores have ruined halloween for the rest of us. Whores.
ReplyDeleteNot gonna lie, Snooki was my original idea for Halloween. How hilarious! But then i decided that i didn't want to be orange from a spray tan, or die of skin cancer from attaining a dark enough tan, so i scratched that. Plus, it'll prob be the big hit this year as theTsaritsa said.
Now i believe i'm going as a dead dalmatian to compliment my friend's Cruella DeVille costume. hahaha
you know what the best whore costume consists of?
ReplyDeletefollowing my fuckin blog!!!
love ya! ; )
I like dressing like a whore for Halloween. I mean, COME ON! It's the only chance I have to do it without anyone giving me funny looks. Okay, I still get funny looks but you get my drift.
ReplyDeleteAlso, out of all these, BOOBS is definitely my favorite. You could have a BOOB mask (your eyes can be the nipples) and then your own boobs on display. AWESOME!
I wanted to be Kitty Sanchez. My hubs said I could and should do it. But we got nowhere on Halloween so the only people seeing my costume are my kids and they wouldn't get it. Le sigh..
ReplyDeletehttp://strandupdate.blogspot.com
ha, you dressed up as Suze Orman? O.o
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure if I can pull off my Mugatu from "Zoolander" costume I'd be the fucking man.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about hopping into a trash can this year and going as Lady Gaga. I think I could make it work. Lol.
ReplyDeleteAwesome.. I'm sure all of those costumes will be present on college campuses across the nation, for Halloween is definitely the one night where girls have a legit excuse to dress like sluts :)
ReplyDeleteI've given you a blog award, you can check it out at http://thejinger.blogspot.com/2010/09/life-is-calling-how-far-will-you-go.html!
I want to be boobs! Unfortunately, I have friends getting married on the 30th, and seeing as how the wedding is about two hours away from us, we'll be staying over-night...no Halloween for me this year. *pouts*
ReplyDelete1) I think Theresa could effectively be played by a man too! In fact, I'm half convinced that she IS, in fact, a man.
ReplyDelete2) That is the scariest pic of Sarah Palin yet.
3) Maybe someone could be Paris Hilton with powdered sugar on her lips??
Suze Orman is the most horrifying costume of all.
ReplyDeleteDibs on Snooki! Wait, would it still be politically incorrect to wear "blackface" if I'm portraying someone who's white?
ReplyDelete@ shady... muahaha as you should!
ReplyDelete@ queen of rant... heyo so true...even though i do partake...
@ Mademoiselle Hautemess... i might steal that idea thats fuckin awesome
@aimee... do it! send me pics if you figure it out!
@ dating diva seriously she is just so god damn hairy
@uncletypewriter... octo mom all the way yo!
@theTsaritsa for realz yo!
@daniela dead dalmation... nice
@sssdawna love you to!
@annah... oh i so partake too yo! ima total whore
@Smart Ass Sara oh totally still do it! the kids need to learn
@thebigshowatud muahaha like i said weird night...
@danaconda... id totally bone mugato if i saw him...only if the hair was real though
@ Christina In Wonderland Lady Gags is always a good choice
@ Jing aw shucks! you shouldnt have
@Ms. Co-dependent maybe be boobs at the reception?
@Bi haha ive totally done the powdered sugar on the lips before for a costume tots works!
@billy apathy... isnt it??!?!
@ Mahalo Apollo um ive totally known people to do it! so i say fuck yes
HAA! I'd be scared to death of that Suze Orman one! That's some creepy Halloween right there yo!
ReplyDeleteI love Halloween. ALl the freaks come out in NYC! I kinda like the Octomom idea....
ReplyDeleteAs much as I generally hate it when girls dress slutty, I'm able to make an excuse for Halloween.
ReplyDeleteThe concept of dressing up for Halloween is all about allowing yourself to be something you're not, just for one night. So I say dress up as whatever the hell you want. :)
OMG! Those costumes would be hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteI thought about the Snooki costume when I blogged about her the other day, lol, she is totally lame :P
I like being a whore...for Halloween. I especially like the costumes that aren't really anything, per say, but are super slutty nonetheless. For instance, the "mexican shooter," which is just a sombrero, a sarapa, and a belt for shot glasses. I think that will be my costume this year...
ReplyDeleteI vote Judy. Gotta get me some of those little hands. I'm going as a "second wife" (aka third wheel) with two of my friends. Big Love style!
ReplyDeleteThis year I'm going to be the sluttiest Dugaldo at the party. Last year I was zombie Spock. Which made for an awkward moment with vampire Spock.
ReplyDeleteNo you forgot the best one....the prostitute! That's really cutting out the middleman! It happened at school a lot and most of them didn't even have accompanying pimps, they were free agents!
ReplyDeleteYou dressed up as Suzie Orman for a guy? Wow, what a humanitarian! You win my humanitarian award edging out the medic who mercy killed a dismembered, nearly decapitated Iraqi after a car bomb went off.
Dressing up like your celebrity gods is so generic and lame. My friend and I had the best costumes ever, not even joking, when we were a pair of infamous mass murderers for halloween. Such attention to detail, we looked so scary. Soooo scary.
The boobs one. I like this one.
ReplyDeleteIf two friends get together, one could dress as Sarah Palin and the other could dress as Christine O'donnell! And then they could have a foreign policy debate, where the loser has to remove clothing and take shots.
Revolutionary.
ha ha what an epic post! me likey! whores really get to show their true colours on halloween....glad to have found your blog you are way funny and i look forward to reading more from you
ReplyDeleteboobs!
Yep, I'm with Annah on this one.
ReplyDeleteHalloween is for whoring it up, proper.
Then again, so is Tuesday.
Never mind.
My favourite bit of this was the cigarette smoking, beer swilling junior stood casually behind the gun toting, creationist lunacy that is Sarah Palin.
Has she bred that one, or just borrowed him from the "man friends" of her grand daughter?
C*nt.
- B x
Please tell me that you can find a way to mix up the aforementioned whores and go for Halloween as "All of the above."
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends dressed as a human-sized vagina last year. With hair. And a tampon string sticking out. Swear to God. That's the biggest reason we're still friends.
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