Then why the fuck do guys love doggy so much?! Alright guys, it’s time to chat. Let’s settle this never ending argument about doggy style.
Now, as far as I’m aware most men love doggy and most girls hate it. Why? The men ask. Is it because it’s not emotional? Is it because girls can’t make love to us with their eyes as I pork them from behind and make awkward grunting sounds? Um, no.
Let’s look at the facts, boys, or really the one and only fact. You are screwing us from the back. And maybe I’m alone on this position, but my ass is not my greatest asset. (Pardon the word choice.) My boobs are. I’m so white I could be an extra on Twilight, so do you think the body part that the sun don’t shine on, is looking hot. Yeah, I didn’t think so. Let’s not forget to add the cottage cheese factor to it, either.
There’s a reason why girls never look at their butts in the mirror. There is a reason we ask our girlfriends how our butts look in new jeans, because we know they will lie! Just like that whore who says she loves doggy, that bitch is lying!
It’s not about some stupid “emotional connection.” Fuck that.
And the greatest argument guys use is “that way I can touch her tits.” (Real quote, I did research for this blog post.) Oh, but wait, you can grab a girls boobs in ANY position. (Well…most.)
Obviously, I’m not a fan. And yes, obviously I will still partake. But let’s get one thing straight, gentlemen, next time you’re porking your lady friend from behind, make sure you don’t stare to closely at the pastey-white cottage cheese jiggling very closely to your man package, because you may lose your cottage cheese all over her back. And that’s just gross.
Hahaha. This is so true. Not my favorite, not very effective, and the last time this happened, I totally had my head banged into the wall. Thanks, dude.
ReplyDeleteI have tiny boobs so I actually like my ass better which is why I actually like doggy style. I don't mind being a whore. : )
ReplyDeletethe worst part about doggy style is when its going in, I dont know what to expect since its coming in from behind! Makes me tense up! After that parts over though I love it. I actually like a modified version better, where you are kind of lying down and he is coming in from the back.
ReplyDeleteMy ass is particularly wonderful so I love this position. It's hard for me to find something I don't like about it. The hair pulling, ass smacking, hip holding, deep penetration of it all is heaven on earth.
ReplyDeleteAh now I understand why I am the only one of my friends who likes doggy style! The lack of boobage + having an ok ass! My life totally makes sense now...
ReplyDeletei love it doggy style. my boobs are tiny anyway and my boyfriend loves my ass. win-win. :)
ReplyDelete